1.) If you do not know something, keep our mouth shut.* No-one, I repeat no-one, is interested in your uneducated guesses about why something is the way it is, or why someone did something a certain way. At best, you will trick them into temporarily thinking you know what you're talking about. At worst, you will convince them that you are speaking the truth and they will perpetuate your bullsh*t to others. Do not contribute to making the world a more foolish place just because you had to say something.
2.) If you do not know something, ask a person who is more knowledgeable, to explain it to you. It's true that people who ask questions (even if you feel embarrassed to ask) are perceived to be more intelligent. People will appreciate the attention and you can learn something. Which means you'll have something valid to contribute the next time you can't keep your mouth shut.
3.) Do not assume that you are smarter than anyone. There are people half your age and with half your education who know a buttload more than you do. Patience is a virtue. Once again, keep our mouth shut until you know who has the alpha brain.
4.) Never use words or phrases without verifying their definitions and correct spelling. No further explanation will be provided on this one; buy a good dictionary and USE IT!
5.) Do not trust autocorrect on any device. You will not get rich by publishing your crappy texts, nor will you get famous by someone else publishing it.
BONUS TIP Yay! A feature of most autocorrect software is a type of AI that 'learns' from what you type. Which means that when it's hilarious that autocorrect has changed your sentence to "I f**k ch****ns with my Mom", that you have in fact, at one point, typed something about f**king ch****ns. An observation that will greatly amuse your more astute readers -- at your expense.
UPDATE/EDIT to the "not so much a 'BONUS TIP Yay!'" as it is a learning tool. People tend to learn when they are relaxed; people tend to relax when they are laughing. Watch this "Nonja" video from Zanzibar Films. Laugh. Take Notes. Don't be an idiot!
* This rule applies to all manner of communication.
Comments are appreciated - speak your mind below!
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6 Comments
I use these tips all of the time, religiously, yet I still feel like a fool. Damn. Oh well.
Well Justin, I'd have to say you are excellent at communicating your self-evaluation of foolishness. :)
NOW you tell me!
By the way, what's your mom doing these days?
She's only doing things that her auto-correct can't embarrass her with. Thanks for asking!
Always willing to be of service, fredrika.
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